Growing up with a sibling 2 years younger than you can be a pain in the neck. The little pests are always teasing, antagonizing, and finding ways to make steam come out of your ears for their own enjoyment. My little brother is no exception. At 15 years old, my brother always finds ways to be the family “favorite” and weasel his way out of punishments and scolding’s, while I’m left to take the blame and fend for myself in the tangle of webs that is my crazy life.

Although the hair pulling, punching, kicking, and throwing we exchange makes for one crazy household, I wouldn’t trade my brother for the world, and I cherish everything we do together and the memories we make.

If you’ve ever had a sibling, you know what it’s like to get the cold shoulder, the door shut in your face, or the occasional rude comment telling you to “leave them alone”. The mood swings and hormonal changes are all a part of growing up, and sometimes the hassles and frustrations of our daily lives as teenagers causes us stress, that we take out on the people we love the most. Keeping that in mind, I always respect my brother’s privacy and wishes to be left to himself, but I always seem to struggle with how to make him aware that I am here for him if he ever needs advice.

Being a big sister, it’s hard to balance the playful sibling banter with the serious questions and long talks. How do you know when it’s appropriate or the right time to bring up a certain significant topic? We aren’t trained through experience like our parents, all we know is there’s another child living in the same house besides us, and we want to help them as much as we can. Even though it isn’t our job to be their therapist or their mentor, younger siblings undoubtedly look up to their big brother/sister, and whether or not they can tell, the behavior of older siblings does have an impact.

For all us older siblings out there, there isn’t much we can do besides sit and wait for them to come to us with questions or when they need advice, just make sure they know you are there for them, 100%, all the time.

Looking back on my first years of high school, a little chill runs through me. I dealt with the struggles of fitting in, finding new friends, figuring out who I was, scheduling classes in a big school, and many other issues that a teenager deals with. A lot of these problems and stressors could have been lessened or resolved if I had had an older sibling I could have talked to, someone who had gone through the process, and not just a parent or friend who may not understand what I am going through. Even if they want nothing to do with you, make sure they know you are there, and that you are more than happy to help them with a problem, situation, or even just math homework. As most of us are, younger siblings are so reluctant to bring up things like their relationship problems or friend feuds, or the big AP history test that’s stressing them out, with their older, “loser” sibling. Even though this might be my brother’s mentality, I want him to know that having an older, wiser, teen in the family could help make these problems not seem so catastrophic, and my advice or information might just help to make high school a little more bearable.

So if you are an older sibling, be there for your brother or sister, welcome them with open arms. The worst thing you can do is be closed off to them, leaving them to fend for themselves with little help or guidance. And if you’re a younger sibling, be nice to those of us who are just trying to help, that “annoying sister” will one day be leaving for college, and you might just miss her hugs and the pestering “Are you doing okay? How’s school?  How are your friends?”